WAIT UNTIL THE MAP AT THE BOTTOM FULLY LOADS, AND WATCH THE LITTLE MAN.

An American is having breakfast one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

Frenchman: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"

American (in a bad mood): "Of course."

Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the states." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face.

The American listens in silence.

The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"

American: "Of Course."

Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to the states."

After a moment of silence, The American then asks: "Do you have sex in France?"

Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.

American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."

American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum and sell them to France."

Poor Dolly

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before the angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.
Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the angel must decide which of them gets in.

The angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to Heaven, whereupon Dolly takes off her top and says,

"Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created,

and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day for eternity."



The angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question.

The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shakes it up, and gargles. Then, she spits it into the toilet, and pulls the lever.



The angel says, "OK, you r Majesty, you may go in."

Dolly is outraged and asks, "What was that all about? I show you two of God's own perfect creations, and you turn me down.

She simply gargles and she gets in. Would you explain that to me?"

"Sorry, Dolly," says the angel, "but even in Heaven, a Royal Flush beats a Pair, no matter how big they are."

A cowasaki!!!

OFFICIAL NOTICE:

You are called to Active Duty

Because of the current shortage of military personnel, you will be
receiving orders calling you to active duty. The DOD has decided that your
services are needed on board a newly commissioned patrol ship to operate
in the Persian Gulf , so you will be joining your shipmates in the next
couple of weeks.

I have attached a photo of your new crew.

They are a ragged and scurvy lot, rather young and rough; no doubt they
will need extensive training.

This will be tough duty for an elderly man like you, but, in the face of
the present manpower shortage, you must answer your country's call to duty.

You will receive orders in a few days, directing you to your home port in
time to meet the ship, which will be returning from shakedown training.

Best wishes for a very rewarding cruise.





Best Regards,

Chief of Naval Personnel