Jokes, Stories, Cartoons: Good, Bad, or Indifferent

WAKE UP

A man whose family was German aristocracy prior to World War Two owned a Number of large industries and estates. When asked how many German people Were true Nazis, the answer he gave can guide our attitude toward fanaticism.

'Very few people were true Nazis 'he said,' but many enjoyed the return of German pride and many more were too busy to care. I was one of those who Just thought the Nazis were a bunch of fools. So, the majority just sat back And let it all happen. Then, before we knew it, they owned us, and we had lost Control and the end of the world had come. My family lost everything. I ended Up in a concentration camp and the Allies destroyed my factories.'

We are told again and again by 'experts' and 'talking heads' that Islam is the religion of peace, and that the vast majority of Muslims just want to Live in peace.

Although this unqualified assertion may be true, it is entirely irrelevant. It is meaningless fluff, meant to make us feel better, and meant to somehow diminish the specter of fanatics rampaging across the globe in the name of Islam. The fact is that the fanatics rule Islam at this moment in history.

It is the fanatics who march. It is the fanatics who wage any one of 50 Shooting wars worldwide. It is the fanatics who systematically slaughter Christian or tribal groups throughout Africa and are gradually taking over the entire continent in an Islamic wave. It is the fanatics who bomb, behead, murder, or honor kill. It is the fanatics who take over mosque after mosque. It is the fanatics who zealously spread the stoning and hanging of rape victims and homosexuals. The hard quantifiable fact Is that the 'peaceful majority' the 'silent majority' is cowed and extraneous.

Communist Russia comprised Russians who just wanted to live in peace, yet the Russian Communists were responsible for the murder of about 20 million People. The peaceful majority were irrelevant. China's huge population, it was peaceful as well, but Chinese Communists managed to kill a staggering 70 Million people.

The average Japanese individual prior to World War 2 was not a warmongering Sadist. Yet, Japan murdered and slaughtered its way across South East Asia in an orgy of killing that included the systematic murder of 12 million Chinese
Civilians; most killed by sword, shovel and bayonet.

And, who can forget Rwanda, which collapsed into butchery. Could it not be Said that the majority of Rwandans were 'peace loving'?

History lessons are often incredibly simple and blunt, yet for all our powers of reason we often miss the most basic and uncomplicated of points: Peace-loving Muslims have been made irrelevant by their silence.

Peace-loving Muslims will become our enemy if they don't speak up, because like my friend from Germany, they will awake one day and find that the Fanatics own them, and the end of their world will have begun.

Peace-loving Germans, Japanese, Chinese, Russians, Rwandans, Serbs Afghans, Iraqis, Palestinians, Somalis, Nigerians, Algerians, and many others have died Because the peaceful majority did not speak up until it was too late.

As for us who watch it all unfold; we must pay attention to the only group That counts; the fanatics who threaten our way of life.

Lastly, at the risk of offending, anyone who doubts that the issue is serious and just deletes this email without sending it on, can contribute to the passiveness That allows the problems to expand.

So, extend yourself a bit and send this on! Let us hope that thousands, world wide, read this, think about it and speak out.

Subject: Texas Air traffic Control:

Dallas ATC: "Tower to Saudi Air 95 -- You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R."

Saudi Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. Acknowledge 95 cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R -- Allah be Praised!"

Dallas ATC: "Tower to Iran Air 44 -- You are cleared to land westbound on runway 27L."

Iran Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 27L -- Allah is Great!"

Pause: Static.............

Saudi Air: " Dallas ATC! Dallas ATC! "

Dallas ATC: "Saudi Air 95?"

Saudi Air: "You have cleared both our aircraft for the same runway going in opposite directions! We are on a collision course! Instructions please!

Dallas ATC: "Well bless your hearts. Y'all be careful now and tell Allah 'hey' from us -- ya hear?

Subject: PANHANDLING WORKS IF YOU HAVE THE RIGHT SIGN.

Jose and Carlos are panhandling at the freeway off ramp. Jose drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend.
Carlos only brings in 2 to 3 dollars a day. Carlos asks Jose how he can bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day.
Jose says, "Look at your sign." It reads: "I have no work, a wife & 6 kids to support"
Carlos looks at Jose's sign.
It reads: "I only need another $10.00 to move back to Mexico"

I wonder if you would consider putting this on your site. You never know who might read and heed. Sure hope the child is still alive and not being harmed.


PLEASE READ THIS MESSAGE AND FORWARD IT TO EVERYBODY IN YOUR ADDRESS BOOK..
I am thanking you in advance......



From Phil McCann:
As you are aware my niece, Madeleine, is still missing and I am asking everyone I know to send this as a chain letter. Please send it to everyone you know and ask them to do the same, as the story is only being covered in Britain, Eire and Portugal. We don't believe that she is in Portugal anymore and need to get her picture and the story across Europe and the U.S as quickly as possible. Suggestions are welcome.

Please Pass this email on to everyone in your address book and they reckon it could cover 80% of the world's inboxes in 2 weeks.
Madeleine's Eye Holds Vital Clue


Madeleine McCann's family believe a new picture of the missing four-year-old could play a vital role in the search for her.
The photo of the youngster shows clearly the her distinctive right eye, where the pupil runs into the blue-green iris.



The new poster of Madeleine

It is this distinguishing mark that will identify Madeleine to those on the lookout for her, according to aunt and uncle John and Diane McCann.

The Glasgow couple aim to distribute the appeal poster, which features the Crimestoppers telephone number, as far afield as they can.

Family friend Andrew Renwick told Sky News that support for the search had been "overwhelming" and her family were extremely grateful.



Her right eye

Mrs McCann said: "The purpose of the poster is to highlight the distinction in Madeleine's eye.

"We want to make the most of it, because we know her hair could potentially be cut or dyed."

Mr McCann added: "The poster was designed by a friend of the family and
I've begun Emailing it to acquaintances in different parts of the world.

"I'm asking people to circulate it the best they can and make it be seen."

Madeleine's Eye Holds Vital Clue

What gets longer when pulled,
Fits between your boobs,
Inserts neatly in a hole,
And works best when jerked?

Scroll down to find the answer.....





A SEAT BELT, you pervert!!!
Now BUCKLE up and pass it on!

Subject: Viagra!

An elderly man in his mid eighties struggles to get up from the couch; then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, 'Where are you going?'

He replies, 'I'm going to the doctor.'

She says, 'Why, are you sick?'

He says, 'Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff.'

Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of her rocker and begins to put on her coat.

He says, 'Where the hell are you going'?

She answers, 'I'm going to the doctor, too.'

He says, 'Why, what the hell do you need?'

She says, 'If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm getting a tetanus shot.'

Subject: Are they really jokes???

Two sisters, one blond and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far away town so that they can breed their own stock.

They only have $600 left.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out and haul it home." The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599 and no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be ableto send her sister one word.
After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send her the word "comfortable."

The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word "comfortable"?

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it very slowly: 'com-for-da-bul'."

Subject: Another Blonde Joke

Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?" The blondes all nodded. The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities, such as scars and so forth." So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds. "Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"

The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"

The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"

The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.

The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"

"Yes! He only has one ear!"

The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear! You're excused too!"

The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.

The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but..." He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"

The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses."

The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"

The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses."

Subject: Who Was ??????

In 1923, Who Was:

1. President of the largest steel company?

2. President of the largest gas company?

3. President of the New York Stock Exchange?

4. Greatest wheat speculator?

5. President of the Bank of International Settlement?

6. Great Bear of Wall Street?


These men were considered some of the world's most successful of their days.

Now, 80 years later, the history book asks us, if we know what ultimately became of them

The Answers:

1. The president of the largest steel company. Charles Schwab, died a pauper.

2. The president of the largest gas company, Edward Hopson, went insane.

3. The president of the NYSE, Richard Whitney, was released from prison to die at home.

4. The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger, died abroad, penniless.

5. The president of the Bank of International Settlement, shot himself.

6. The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Livermore, also committed suicide.

However: in that same year, 1923, the PGA Champion and the winner of the most important golf tournament, the US Open, was Gene Sarazen. What became of him?

He played golf until he was 92, died in 1999 at the age of 95. He was financially secure at the time of his death.

The Moral:

Screw work. Play golf.