Jokes,stories, Cartoons: Good, Bad, or Indifferent
Accumulated over the years from e-mails received.
In neither any particular order nor bysubject
And if you are under 18, youshould change to another location.
Also, we have no idea of ownership or authorship beyond those mentioned.
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Page 38 #s - 321 - 330
321.(Ed Note: Of course we have not verified this data. Remember Statistics can always be used the way one wants it.)
Maybe there is something wrong here????
This oughta upset everybody:
How they vote in the United Nations:
Below are the actual voting records of various Arabic/Islamicstates which are recorded in both the US State Department and United Nations records:
Kuwait votes against the United States 67% of the time
Qatar votes against the United States 67% of the time
Morocco votes against the United States 70% of the time
United Arab Emirates votes against the U.S. 70% of the time.
Jordan votes against the United States 71% of the time.
Tunisia votes against the United States 71% of the time.
Saudi Arabia votes against the United States 73% of the time.
Yemen votes against the United States 74% of the time.
Algeria votes against the United States 74% of the time.
Oman votes against the United States 74% of the time.
Sudan votes against the United States 75% of the time.
Pakistan votes against the United States 75% of the time.
Libya votes against the United States 76% of the time.
Egypt votes against the United States 79% of the time.
Lebanon votes against the United States 80% of the time.
India votes against the United States 81% of the time.
syria votes against the United States 84% of the time.
Mauritania votes against the United States 87% of the time.
Us Foreign Aid to those that hate us:
Egypt, for example, after voting 79% of the time against the United States, still receives $2 billion annually in US Foreign Aid.
Jordan votes 71% against the United States,
and receives $192,814,000 annually in US Foreign Aid.
Pakistan votes 75% against the United States
Receives $6,721,000 annually in US Foreign Aid.
India votes 81% against the United States
Receives $143,699,000 annually.
Perhaps it is time to get out of the UN and give the taxsavings back to the American workers who are having to skimp and sacrifice to pay the taxes (and gasoline).
Pass this along to every taxpaying citizen you know. And send to your congressman, who should be disgraced, but who couldn't care less.
Disgusting, isn't it?
322.
A Florida Biker And His Babe
Love many, trust a few, but always paddle your own canoe
323.
Golf vs Sex
A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. "Boy, I'd give anything to sink this putt," the golfer mumbles to himself. Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, "Would you be willing to give up one-fourth of your sex life?"
Thinking the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless, the golfer also feels that maybe this is a good omen so he says, "Sure," and sinks the putt.
Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, "Gee, I sure would like to get an eagle on this one." The same stranger is at his side again and whispers, "Would it be worth giving up another fourth of your sex life?"
Shrugging, the golfer replies, "Okay." And he makes an eagle.
On the final hole, the golfer needs another eagle to win. Without waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his side and says, "Would winning this match be worth giving up the rest of your sex life?"
"Definitely," the golfer replies, and he makes the eagle.
As the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger walks alongside him and says, "I haven't really been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I'm the devil, and from this day forward you will have no sex life."
"Nice to meet you," the golfer replies, "I'm Father O'Malley."
324.
GRANDMA'S AGE:
LITTLE JOHNNY ASKED HIS GRANDMA HOW OLD SHE WAS.
GRANDMA ANSWERED, "39 AND HOLDING."
JOHNNY THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT, AND THEN SAID, "AND HOW OLD WOULD YOU BE IF YOU LET GO?"
325.
LIFE AFTER DEATH:
"DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER DEATH?" THE BOSS ASKED ONE OF HIS EMPLOYEES.
"YES, SIR," THE NEW EMPLOYEE REPLIED.
"WELL, THEN, THAT MAKES EVERYTHING JUST FINE," THE BOSS WENT ON. "AFTER YOU LEFT EARLY YESTERDAY TO GO TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S FUNERAL,
SHE STOPPED IN TO SEE YOU!
326.THE WATER PISTOL:
WHEN MY THREE-YEAR-OLD SON OPENED THE BIRTHDAY GIFT FROM HIS GRANDMOTHER, HE DISCOVERED A WATER PISTOL. HE SQUEALED WITH DELIGHT AND HEADED FOR THE NEAREST SINK.
I WAS NOT SO PLEASED. I TURNED TO MOM AND SAID, "I'M SURPRISED AT YOU. DON'T YOU REMEMBER HOW WE USED TO DRIVE YOU CRAZY WITH WATER GUNS?"
MOM SMILED AND THEN REPLIED..... "I REMEMBER."
327.
328.
329.
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me
that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else
to take care of first, the truck, the car, and fishing, always
something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived
home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping
away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a
short time and then went into the house.
I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a
toothbrush. "When you finish cutting the grass," I said, "you might as
well sweep the sidewalk."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
330.
Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar.
After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, "I can't help but think, from listening to you, that
you're from Ireland"
The other guy responds proudly, "Yes, that I am!"
The first guy says, "So am I!
And where about in Ireland might you be from?"
The other guy answers, "I'm from Dublin, I am."
The first guy responds, "Sure and begora, and
so am I! And what street did you live on in Dublin?"
The other guy says, "A lovely little area it was. I lived
on McCleary Street in the old central part
of town."
The first guy says, "Faith it's a small world, so
did I! So did I! And to what school would you have
been going?"
The other guy answers, "Well now, I went to
St. Mary's of course."
The first guy gets really excited and says,
"And so did I. Tell me, in what year did you graduate?"
The other guy answers, "Well, now, let's see, I
graduated in 1964."
The first guy exclaims, "The Good Lord must be
smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good
luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you
believe it, I graduated from St. Mary's in 1964 my own self."
About this time, Vicky walks into the bar, sits down,
and orders a beer.
Brian, the bartender, walks over to Vicky, shaking his
head mutters, "It's going to be a long night tonight."
Vicky asks, "Why do you say that, Brian?"
"The Murphy twins are drunk again."
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