Jokes, Stories, Cartoons: Good, Bad, or Indifferent

THE COAT HANGER

A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her small daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car. She didn't know what to do, so she called home and told the baby sitter what had happened.

The baby sitter told her that the fever was getting worse. She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door."

The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been left on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time had locked their keys in their car. She looked at the hanger and said, "I don't know how to use this."

She bowed her head and asked God to send her help. Within five minutes a beat up old motorcycle pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head. The woman thought, "This is what you sent to help me?" But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful.

The man got off of his cycle and asked if he could help. She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"

He said, "Sure." He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was opened.

She hugged the man and through her tears she said,"Thank You So Much! You are a very nice man."

The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour."

The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud, "Oh, Thank you God! You even sent me a Professional!"

Isn't GOD GOOD!

Subject: Memorial Hummer

CAMP PENDLETON, Calif

Karla Comfort received a lot of looks and even some salutes from people when she drove from Benton, Ark., to Camp Pendleton, Calif., in her newly-painted, custom Hummer H3 March 2 (2006). The vehicle is adorned with the likeness of her son, 20-year-old Lance Cpl. John M. Holmason, and nine other Marines with F Company, 2nd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division who where all killed by the same improvised explosive device blast in Fallujah, Iraq, in December.



For Karla Comfort, having the vehicle air brushed with the image of the 10 Marines was a way to pay homage to her hero and his fellow comrades who fell on Iraq's urban battlefield.

"I wanted to let people know (Marines) are doing their jobs honorably, and some of them die," said the 39-year-old from Portland, OR "I don't want people to forget the sacrifices that my son and the other Marines made."



Leading up to her son's death, Karla Comfort had received several letters from him prior to his return. He had been deployed for five months, and Comfort "worried everyday he was gone until she got the letters and found out the date he was coming home," she said.

Marines knocked on the front door of her home in Farmington, Mich., at 3 am with the dreadful news.

"I let my guard down when I found out he was coming home," she said. "There are times that I still cannot believe it happened. It's very hard to deal with."



Karla Comfort came up with the idea for the rolling memorial when she and her two other sons attended John's funeral in Portland, Ore.

"I saw a Vietnam (War) memorial on a car, and I said to my son Josh, 'we should do something like that for John,' she recalled. "He loved Hummers."

She purchased the vehicle in January and immediately took it to Airbrush Guy &Co. in Benton, Ark, where artist Robert Powell went to work on changing the plain, black vehicle into a decorative, mobile, art piece.

"I only had the vehicle for two days before we took it in," she joked.



Two hundred and fifty man-hours later, Powell had completed the vehicle. The custom job would have cost $25,000. Out of respect for Karla Comfort's loss and the sacrifices the Marines made, Airbrush Guy & Co. did it for free. Comfort only had to purchase the paint, which cost $3,000.

"I love it," she said." I'm really impressed with it, and I think John would be happy with the vehicle. He would have a big smile on his face because he loved Hummers."



Karla Comfort gave Powe ll basic instructions on what to include in the paint job. But in addition to the image of her son in Dress Blues and the faces of the nine other Marines, there were several surprises. "He put a lot more on than I expected," she said. "I think my favorite part is the heaven scene."

On the left side of the vehicle, a detail of Marines are depicted carrying their fallen comrades through the clouds to their final resting place. The American flag drapes across the hood, the words, "Semper Fi" crown the front windshield and the spare tire cover carries the same Eagle Globe and Anchor design that her son had tattooed on his back.

"All the support I have been getting is wonderful," she said.

Karla Comfort decided to move back to her hometown of Portland, and making the cross-country trip from Arkansas was a way for her to share her son's story. It's also her way of coping with the loss.

"Along the way I got nothing but positive feedback from people," she said. "What got to me was when people would salute the guys (Marines). It's hard to look at his picture. I still cry and try to get used to the idea, but it's hard to grasp the idea that he's really gone."



Let's get this Hummer going around the world!
PLEASE.. Pass it on.

Subject: Microwaved Water - What It Does To You

Here is a correction to the email that I sent regarding microwave heated water. For quite a while, I would look up questionable claims from emails or 'chain emails' circulated in web-land before sending anything on to my list of friends. But that practice fell by the wayside and I passed on only what seemed to be legit or cutsie or funny. With more and more of these "Wow" emails making their rounds in cyberland, this reminder from my brother is much appreciated.

Here is a specific URL that explains the accurate details of the below science experiment http://www.snopes.com/science/microwave/plants.asp

Here are a few URL's that you can go to in order to confirm legitimacy of anything you receive:

http://www.snopes.com/

http://www.truthorfiction.com/ click on the left side (avoid the ad's)

http://hoaxbusters.ciac.org/HBUrbanMyths.shtml

**FYI Basically, go to Google (or any search engine). Type 'hoax' , then the plus sign (+), then add the topic you wish to verify. **

Thanks goes to my brother for the reminder on hoax info!

Microwaved Water - See What It Does To Plants

4-13-06

Below is a science fair project that my granddaughter did for 2006. In it she took filtered water and divided it into two parts. The first part she heated to boiling in a pan on the stove, and the second part she heated to boiling in a microwave. Then after cooling she used the water to water two identical plants to see if there would be any difference in the growth between the normal boiled water and the water boiled in a microwave. She was thinking that the structure or energy of the water may be compromised by microwave. As it turned out, even she was amazed at the difference.













I have known for years that the problem with microwaved anything is not the radiation people used to worry about, it's how it corrupts the DNA in the food so the body can not recognize it. So the body wraps it in fat cells to protect itself from the dead food or it eliminates it fast.

Think of all the Mothers heating up milk in these "Safe" appliances. What about the nurse in Canada that warmed up blood for a transfusion patient and accidentally killed them because the blood was dead when transfused?

But the makers say it's safe. Never mind them, keep using them. Ask your Doctor. I am sure they will say it's safe too.

Proof is in the pictures of living plants dying. Remember You are also Living. Take Care.

Subject: Awesome Photo

Anyone that loves photography will appreciate the precision of this photo. The jets are probably moving at around 400 mph and the photographer must be just right to get the shot at just the right instant. This is a hard formation to stay in. The ones in the "S" are just a little graduated degree behind the next one and staying that way to maintain the formation.

Awesome!



This is a great photo of an Air Force training squadron flying in a never-done-before "USA" formation over the control tower "Taj Mahal" (HQ building) of Randolph Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas.

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you; Jesus Christ and the American G. I. One died for your soul; the other for your freedom.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO PASS THIS ON. TOO MANY SEEM TO HAVE FORGOTTEN BOTH OF THEM!

Subject: Don't Talk to the Parrot

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check."

"Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled,

"Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"

To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"

See...............Men just don't listen!

Humor aboard and airliner luggage storage.

Click here to start the movie clip

YOUR AGE WITH CHOCOLATES

DO NOT GO STRAIGHT TO THE END ...

It will only take a minute. Do the maths as you read the instructions. Don't read the end until you have done all the calculations. I promise it is not a waste of time, you will find this amusing.



1. How many times a week do you fancy eating chocolate? (Choose between 1 and 9)

2. Multiply that number by 2

3. Add 5

4. Multiply by 50 – go on, get that calculator out!

5. If you have had your birthday in 2006, add 1756. If your birthday is still to come, add 1755.

6 Now take away the year you were born.

You should have a three digit number. The first is the number of time you fancy eating chocolate in a week. The other two digits are ...  

YOUR AGE!!!

2006 IS THE ONLY YEAR IN ALL ETERNITY WHEN THIS WORKS. SEND IT TO YOUR FRIENDS WHILE IT WORKS!

Subject: Vacation

Billy Bob says to Pete, "You know, I reckon I'm about ready for a vacation, only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice as to where to go. Two years ago you said to go to Hawaii, I went to Hawaii, and my wife got pregnant. Then last year, you told me to go to the Bahamas, I went to the Bahamas, and my wife got pregnant again."

Pete says, "So what you gonna do different this year?"

Billy Bob says, "This year, I'm takin' my wife with me..."