Jokes, Stories, Cartoons: Good, Bad, or Indifferent

Subject: Explanation of Politics

A little boy goes to his Dad and asks, “What’s politics?”

His Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way! I am head of the family, So call me the President. Your Mother is administrator of the money, So call her the Government. We are here to take care of your needs, So we’ll call you the People. The nanny, we will consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense.”

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, He hears his baby brother crying and gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parent’s room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks thru the keyhole and see’s his father in bed with the nanny. So he gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy say’s to his father, “Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.”

The father says, “Good son, now tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.”

“The President is screwing the working class, while the government is sound asleep. The people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit!”

722.

Subject: Is It a Hoax? Here's How To Tell.

I went to http://www.snopes.com/ then typed into the'search' box the title of the questionable alert: "From the California Bureau of Investigation." This led me to the page that informs readers as to whether the email is a hoax or not. (This is the addy that ultimately told me that this was a hoax http://www.snopes.com/crime/warnings/hotelkey.asp;)Save the SNOPES addy in your “favorites” for future reference :)

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(Ed Note: The above caution refers to the following message that has been floating around. Before you decide to believe it all, please go to the above link, it explains it all.)

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From the California Bureau of Investigation: "Southern California law enforcement professionals assigned to detect new threats to personal security issues, recently discovered what type of information is embedded in the credit card type hotel room keys used throughout the industry. Although room keys differ from hotel to hotel, a key obtained from a well known hotel chain that was being used for a regional Identity Theft Presentation was found to contain the following the information: a. Customers (your) name b. Customers partial home address c. Hotel room number d. Check in date and check out date e. Customer's (your) credit card number and expiration date! When you turn them in to the front desk your personal information is there for any employee to access by simply scanning the card in the hotel scanner. An employee can take a handfuls of cards home and using a scanning device, access the information onto a laptop computer and go shopping at your expense. Simply put, hotels do not erase the information on these cards until an employee re-issues the card to the next hotel guest. At that time, the new guest's information is electronically "overwritten" on the card and the previous guest's information is erased in the overwriting process. But until the card is rewritten for the next guest, it usually is kept in a drawer at the front desk with YOUR INFORMATION ON IT!!!! The bottom line is: Keep the cards, take them home with you, or destroy them. NEVER leave them behind in the room or room wastebasket, and NEVER turn them in to the front desk when you check out of a room. They will not charge yo u for the card (it's illegal) and you'll be sure you are not leaving a lot of valuable personal information on it that could be easily lifted off with any simple scanning device card reader. For the same reason, if you arrive at the airport and discover you still have the card key in your pocket, do not toss it in an airport trash basket. Take it home and destroy it by cutting it up, especially through the electronic information strip! Information courtesy of: Pasadena Police Department SEND TO ANYONE YOU WOULD LIKE TO HELP - WE'RE IN THE TRAVEL SEASON

Subject: Hummmmmm

Subject: A Short One

Man goes into a cocktail lounge and Approaches a woman sitting by herself.

Man: "May I buy you a cocktail?"

Lady: "No thank you, alcohol is bad for my Legs."

Man: "Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?"

Lady: "No, they open!"

Subject: Stupied Sojers.

Taka look at thees por underedicated sojers. itstew bad they dint stay in skool and lern more so they could marry rich catchup hairisses and becum senaturs.

This is a great photo collection of "Embarrasing Moments." You need to manually advance.

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"Thing are not always as they appear"

THREE BLACK MEN

At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three black men totally naked sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures had black willies, but the one in the middle had a pink willie.

The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his assessment. He went on for overhalf an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of blackmen in a predominately white, patriarchal society. "In fact,"he pointed out, "some serious crtics believe that the pink willie also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gaymen in contemporary society."

After the curator left, an Irishman, approached the couple and said,"Would you like to know what the painting is really about?"

"Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?" asked the couple.

"Because I'm the guy who painted it," he replied.

"In fact, there are no black men depicted at all. They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch."

Subject: Irish Alzheimer

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in church in his life. After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said, "Murphy, I am so glad you decided to come to Mass, what made you come?"

Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like me hat, and I knew that McGlynn come to church every Sunday I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church. so, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."

The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that you didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"

Murphy said, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat."

The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said; "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' you decided you would rather do without your hat than Burn in Hell, right ?"

Murphy shook his head and said, "No, Father, after you talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left me hat."